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Lilly

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Lilly

Posted by Jim H. [10700.4217] on August 26, 2008 at 09:22:46:

Doe-eyed Lilly has bonded with me. When I lay down, she climbs up
on my lap and falls asleep in a deeply limp trust, from which she
awakens startled if I make a sudden move. She is a bit spooky and
runs from loud sounds. This jumpiness could be a natural trait, or
something from her past that is unknown to us, a past that goes back
ten or twelve years, so the vet estimates. Her body is pressed against
me as she sleeps and I type.

When we first saw her in the shelter, she was straggly and desperate
looking in her cage. The card said she was a Dachshund/Pomeranian
mix, and she looked like a big-eyed fox. She licked my hand, and that
was it, I was a gonner. We picked her up on the morning before the
afternoon of her planned euthanasia.

Pack-wise, Lilly’s shyness is several letters down the alphabet from
the “ alpha” position. Her submissive gestures are plain to see, but
thankfully they do not include the cringing wee-wee when you reach
down to her.

For many days, she acted bewildered, unsure and lost in her new
surroundings. She stiffened when picked up, physically recoiled when
touched on her back, and bolted from sleep if touched at all. It took
several weeks for her to begin to relax for a back scratch or massage,
which I do for her whenever I touch her. I think it has sealed our
bonding.

Charlie the Pug is a docile creature, but he has managed to assert his
dominance over Lilly in subtle ways. He will growl in a half hearted
way if Lilly comes too close to him while he has a chew, but he does
not know what comes after the growl if it doesn’t work, except pick
up the chew and run away.

So here we are with another rescue creature. We love the puppy/
kitten stage, but there is plenty to recommend adopting an older pet,
especially one in dire straits, like our rescue cat, Alpha, who got along
peacefully with Lilly that first week, before she ended her two year
stay with us in that sad last trip to the vet. I know the added years
were a blessing for her. She must have thought she won the Lottery,
but in some ways, taking her on gave us even more. We miss her
affectionate nature and the unique adaptations she made to her near
blindness and weak hips.

We seem to have become an assisted-care facility, something we
could not have done in our younger more busy days, or so it seemed.
A little leisure is a wonderful thing, a condition in which you can do
little meaningful things you could have done before but were too
busy thinking you didn’t have the time.



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Re: Lilly

Posted by Tabby [15.2532] on August 26, 2008 at 10:05:28:

In Reply to: Lilly posted by Jim H. [10700.4217] on August 26, 2008 at 09:22:46:

Lovely.....and my deepest admiration and appreciation for what you've done for these "elders" that too often society (even pet lovers) forgets.

But.....BUT.....how do you keep your heart from breaking?

Going through some trying times with our 20-yr-old geriatric kitty, and wondering if I can do it this time, much less again and again.....
Tab


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Steve [4710.3394] on August 26, 2008 at 10:28:27:

In Reply to: Lilly posted by Jim H. [10700.4217] on August 26, 2008 at 09:22:46:

Jim,

There is someone watching your good deeds. " For God is not unrighteous so as to forget your work and the love you showed..." Hebrews 6:10.

You set a good example for all of us.

Silver Fox!


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Jim H. [12564.5033] on August 27, 2008 at 04:34:01:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Tabby [15.2532] on August 26, 2008 at 10:05:28:

Thanks, Tabby. I don't keep my heart from breaking, any more
than I can keep my heart from rejoicing. I experience it, and I let
go...a perspective that has something to do with aging, in my
case, I'd guess.


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Jim H. [12564.5033] on August 27, 2008 at 04:39:23:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Steve [4710.3394] on August 26, 2008 at 10:28:27:

So, you are nominating me for sainthood
then? : )

But, seriously, thanks for the sentiment
Steve.




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Re: Lilly

Posted by Walt Stoll [93.4968] on August 27, 2008 at 07:06:16:

In Reply to: Lilly posted by Jim H. [10700.4217] on August 26, 2008 at 09:22:46:

Thanks, Jim.

My experience has been that even the most damaged rescue dogs contribute MUCH more to the rescuer than the converse. Kudos to you!

Namaste`

Walt


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Jan DeCourtney, CMT (Happygal) [7244.4757] on August 27, 2008 at 07:31:41:

In Reply to: Lilly posted by Jim H. [10700.4217] on August 26, 2008 at 09:22:46:

Hi Jim,

What a lovely post. I now have my first relationship with animals, my two kitties, and I can hardly believe how enriching and delightful the relationship is. They just capture a person's heart, don't they?

Enjoy your animals!

Best wishes,
Jan


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Re: Lilly

Posted by VF [12036.1399] on August 27, 2008 at 08:34:46:

In Reply to: Lilly posted by Jim H. [10700.4217] on August 26, 2008 at 09:22:46:

I couldn't tolerate any pets that had fears. I'd find a way to cure them. Maybe because I love animals and mainly dogs as pets, and from age 11 till 20, I couldn't go near a dog, but from as far back I can remember till I was 11, a friends dad's hunting female Cocker was MY dog in the summer, where we used to spend summers in a small country town. My friend and his sister seemed to ignore Widdels, and I don't think their mom or dad gave it much attention.

She would stay outside our house overnite, and go home to eat and get a bath when she slept Under our car, and get motor oil on her white coat. The year before we stopped going, I had a Bad scare when peddling down a hill to the river. The hill was SO steep, you couldn't pedal a 1 speed bike back up it, and we used to pedal down, and the pedals would be going around SO fast, you couldn't keep your feet on them. At the bottom, a big black dog came after me, and trying to avoid it, and hitting the sand, I went down. The dog never touched me, but barked and snarrled REAL close. Luckily the owner called it off fast, but the damage was done. Manny people in the city had German Shepherds, and none of my friends had dogs, so none to help me get over my fears, till a friend got a Collie pup, and what I Used to say got me over my fear, was the pup getting car sick In my lap, On an expressway, that didn't have a shoulder for a few miles, that we could pull over on, for a few mi, and I had to look at the Unchewed Cheerios, and cut up pieces of hot dog Soup, till we could. I used to say That got me over my fears, because the sensation in my esophagus to try to keep My breakfast down, was similar to the sensation in my chest or esophagus when around a dog. Right after that happened, I was thining about what kind of dog I wanted, and soon after Afghan Hounds Found me. First were a pair of cream colored ones I though were sheep, being walked in front of Independence Hall. A few blocks away, I saw a Bedlington Terrier that look like lambs, so thought it was a sign. Liking large dogs, I went for the sheepalikes.

I have had a rescue, and breeders misfits. Not by choice, but by chance. All needed a good home, to be all they could be. I wasn't going to show them, but let them be All dog. Lure coursing, where they can show their hunting skills is more to my liking.

Getting ones that didn't get all the attention they deserved, I had a few with fears or illnesses that I had to cure. What Taught Me how to Cure Them of fears, was a Very sweet 3 yr old female, who was a basket case, and wanted to bolt and tried to at Any sharp or loud sound. She probably spent most of her life in her breeders kennel. She wasn't being shown, and the family had moved up from TX about when she was born. They had just had a son who died from a brain tumor, and were moving back to TX when I ran into them. They had bought a house Right across from a drag strip, with the starting line aimed at the house. When I told them I'd rather pick her up new years night, instead of eve, because of the fireworks, at night, and parade on the main street behind me,the owner said, when teh jet dragsters were in, he would loose a few windows from the pressure. Their kennel was a heated, AC'ed 40' house trailer, but the hound probably was in there alone or with mates. I waited anyway.

Her litter name was Flame, because the litter was named after Fire, but it didn't fit her, and I named her Sheena. She looked identical to the one I waited to long to buy, a yr before. That one was being sold because she jumped on show judges and licked them, but when I went to see her she growled at me and hid under a table. The breeder said, she had gone into heat, and why her actions. Her sister ran towards me, sprung off the sofa, and into my arms, and I was told That's what I should expect. Her thyroid had gone off, and her long hair fell out, but when they get pregant they Will drop their coat, so the pups can feed, so when I finally decided on her, she was sold that day at a show.

Sheena was a challenge. For the most agile breed, she was clumbsy. Couldn't climb stairs, or get into a car. After boosting her onto the car seat a few times she learned how, and to climb steps. For her looking awkward when my male would bump into her, I worked on her balance and coordination, pushing on her sides, and alternating because she would brace her legs when I did each side seperately. Soon she got the agility her body was built for, and One of the things that fasinates me about the breed. When I used to take them to a fenced in grassy are at a HS, she used to draw crowds as she romped and ran Full Tilt in the block long area. I met a guy who told me, him and his wife used to look out their 2nd floor apt window after dinner to watch her, when I would bring them.

I started working on her fear of sounds when we got caught in a thunderstorm at the courts. She wanted to bolt, but we would have gotten drenched, getting to the car. I felt SO bad for her, not just because of her fears were So sever, but because she was as sweet as could be. I Doubt Any could have been any sweeter.
Trying to calm her, I rubbed and stroked her whole body, trying to defuse the tension she Must have had, and I spoke softly to her. I figured her ears were where she heard the sounds, so started to rub them. All dogs Love that anyway. The storm lasted about 20 min, and I worked on her all through it. I noticed her reactions became less and less even with the storm still raging, so figured I found a cure for her fears. I learned after, to let her see ME Causing a sound that made her afraid. Once I could get her to go to the offending source, that I made her see Me banging or working to make the sound. I Knew that one was history. She got SO comfortable with noises, that she would be laying on her back with her legs spread, which was her fav position, and when a T storm would come through, she didn't move. I used to Ask her if she was OK, and she would Just look over at me. It was Such a Joy to see how comfortable she became, and the icing was, when walking her near a playground that had a high stone wall from a previous use, and kids set off a BOMB behind the wall, that made my hair stand on end, and I felt the concussion on my chest, and she Didn't Even Flinch. I Thought she had to be deaf, and my macho male that Nothing phased, jumped 2'. I tested her with my keys, and her hearing was fine.

I had to cure her of tensing if touched by my male when they ate, and not able to continue. Watching her Push my male over if he didn't finish the extras I would give them, so she could eat out of his bowl used to make me smile.

As sweet as she was, she was a Great watch dog, and scared the bejezzers out of a nephew when he didn't make sure she knew it was him when coming in late. He thought I was kidding him, as he hugged her when I was telling him. She scared Me when she went after My Macho, when she thought he was coming after the bone I was holding as she chewed on it, not to get their coats messed up. I had his in my other hand. I solved that, making them chew on the Same bone, after admonishing her And him with their heads together, and my hands on the outside ears. I'd have to pay any vet bills. They would Both get what the other one got.

Used to Love her laying on the folded down back seat in my wagon, with her muzzle on the back of my seat, next to my shoulder or on my shoulder, just looking at me, like nothing else existed. I used to reach back and gently tweak her nose. Her hot breath on my neck in the summer was a little uncomfortable, but she looked SO contented and happy, that I didn't care.





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Re: Lilly

Posted by Jim H. [12501.4684] on August 27, 2008 at 08:53:12:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Jan DeCourtney, CMT (Happygal) [7244.4757] on August 27, 2008 at 07:31:41:

I am happy for you, Jan.


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Jim H. [12501.4684] on August 27, 2008 at 09:12:59:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by VF [12036.1399] on August 27, 2008 at 08:34:46:

Thanks, Vince, that's exactly the sort of thing I have been doing with
Lilly, and that physical contact is effective.



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Re: Lilly

Posted by VF [12036.1399] on August 27, 2008 at 10:06:43:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Jim H. [12501.4684] on August 27, 2008 at 09:12:59:

Jim, this girl would bring up food during the day when home alone, and I realized it was when I got mail. One Sat I was sleeping on the sofa, and I woke to an ungodly noise, that made my chest tighten, and my macho male went flying by. He used to lay in front of the door, and the old wooden door with the heavy brass mail slot/door would bang on the frame and clang when the mailman was put something big through the slot. I figured that's what was causing the female to get sick when I got mail. I used to put the mail out in the day, so she was home alone. I called her over, started the rubbing speaking softley, and let Her see me bang on the door and work the brass flap. Took seconds to get her over being startled and over to the door, sniffing it while I worked it. Had to do the same thing with the washer, that her tail would beat like a drum as I made their food, and the noise would tencer her, and it would happen Over and Over till I gave them the food. When she tensed and stopped wagging, the sound would stop, and then she and it would start again. It used to get me crazy and botherd because it tensed her. I Could Tense Them if they did something wrong I didn't like, since they were a handful, But I never let them be tensed by me, any longer than I could, and would call them over and make up with them, since I had the problem with what they did, but still liked them a lot, and wanted them to continue to like me, and Not be in fear. Wild K-9's can get pretty rough with each other. I don't want submissive ones, just learn to do what makes us All happy. My guys are Said to be the HARDEST to train, and then forget the training soon after, but that didn't keep me from working with them. That girl with the fears, almost learned without being told. If I over reacted and yelled, like when a edge on her nail pulled a thread on a new knit top I had one. The next time she stood up, and Every time after, she Tucked her paws, so her nails didn't touch me. I didn't stop her from standing, since she had been so uncoordinated, and wanted to keep making her use the muscles, and like them standing. If I wanted them to stay down, I'd tell them. They should be able to understand.

Good luck with your guys. Never think something is impossible. You Just have to find or figure the solution. I have to remember to bring some of the Snaps to a waitress for her dog. They explode when you throw them on the ground. My last male was a basket case after getting spooked by a pack of firecracklers that were set off Half a block away, a week after I brought him here. He wouldn't go into the yard by himself for a week. I was looking for a cap gun to work with him, but couldn't find any, so bought the Snaps. As BAD as he was I didn't think the 600 I bought would be enough. It took making sure he saw me throw 10, and then 10 more to be sure. The first 5 he ran from me. The next 5 hr jumped on me. The last 10 he just stood, maybe with a slight reaction to the sound. He wasn't bothered again for 6 yrs, till kids set some off behind the yard wall. We have a lot of Asians here now, and Chinese NY's celebrating, that seems to go on forever, and sounds like a firefight, and Whole packs of firecrackers set off, not one at a time like Am. kids light.




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Re: Lilly

Posted by Tabby [6.2532] on August 27, 2008 at 15:50:39:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Jim H. [12564.5033] on August 27, 2008 at 04:34:01:

Thank you for that "re-frame". I'll try a different perspective..... I guess I can't let it go--yet--because it (the end) hasn't yet happened. I suppose I'm anxious because I'm not in control of these events (aging/decline). Since they ARE out of my control, it is up to me to change the only thing in my control--MY perspective. Thanks for reminding me of that.


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Steve [5592.3394] on August 27, 2008 at 16:08:35:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Tabby [6.2532] on August 27, 2008 at 15:50:39:

Your feelings are normal. There would be something wrong with you if you didn't feel bad.

Silver Fox!


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Jim H. [12501.4684] on August 27, 2008 at 16:31:04:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Tabby [6.2532] on August 27, 2008 at 15:50:39:

Go Hogs!


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Jim H. [12569.5033] on August 27, 2008 at 17:23:35:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Steve [5592.3394] on August 27, 2008 at 16:08:35:

I agree with Steve, Tabby. Don't worry about your perspective, it
will take care of itself. Have your feelings, but don't let them
have you.




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Re: Lilly

Posted by Tabby [6.2532] on August 27, 2008 at 19:10:14:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Jim H. [12501.4684] on August 27, 2008 at 16:31:04:

You remembered? :-) Yes, Go Hogs! ....something to take my mind off things, but I'll sure miss watching Darren McFadden on the field with them this year. I'll have to become an Oakland Raiders to watch him play now.....





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Re: Lilly

Posted by Tabby [6.2532] on August 27, 2008 at 19:18:33:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Steve [5592.3394] on August 27, 2008 at 16:08:35:

Thanks, Steve. I know, but gosh it hurts. It doesn't help that I have my 89-yr old mother here for a long visit (she just got here, so I'm still adjusting)--two old ladies gimping about or just sitting around is too much "oldness" at the same time. I can't imagine how Jim does it with the older pets he's taken in. Of course, knowing you've saved them from certain death has to be an equalizing factor for a time.


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Re: Lilly

Posted by VF [12036.1399] on August 27, 2008 at 19:21:45:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by Tabby [15.2532] on August 26, 2008 at 10:05:28:

no one likes to go through the decline and passing. Maybe it reminds us of our own mortality, over and over. When I would see their decline starting, I would start calling them Old Boy or Girl, and think about when they would give me fits, with their exuberence and energy, and their unique personalities. One thing that we get if we get a new or different pet, is we get to experience the life and personality of a different creature. Sometimes it can be more enjoyable, if they don't have traits or habits, that tested us with our previous one-s, or not come up to the previous one, in things we enjoy, which made us appreciate what we had before, though if an animal lover, the new, even lesser one still will bring many joys, if the best part is they make us remember a previous one more often, or just keep the link on going. I like All dogs, but no breed as much as my preference, but that doesn't lessen my joy when seeing or being around one, and makes me think of mine, but even members of my fav breed, aren't the ones I had, so having my own would be better. People have told me, they won't have another pet, because the loss when they pass is too hard to take. I feel they are missing the joys, that made the loss so bad. A pet is not a parent or family member that can never be replaced, because no one can replace them. A pet is like a good friend, and we can make new ones when one isn't around anymore, and each can bring new experiences or feelings that we can enjoy, and we still have the good times to remember that we had with our old ones.




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Re: Lilly

Posted by Tabby [6.2532] on August 28, 2008 at 09:30:19:

In Reply to: Re: Lilly posted by VF [12036.1399] on August 27, 2008 at 19:21:45:

".....A pet is like a good friend, and we can make new ones when one isn't around anymore, and each can bring new experiences or feelings that we can enjoy, and we still have the good times to remember that we had with our old ones......"

Thank you, Vince. That will be good to remember.


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Re: Lilly

Posted by Jim H. [11741.4684] on September 01, 2008 at 12:29:47:

In Reply to: Lilly posted by Jim H. [10700.4217] on August 26, 2008 at 09:22:46:

Here is Lilly with her new housemate, Charlie the pug.

http://web.mac.com/jimhare/Site_2/Blog/Entries/2008/9/1_.html


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